12 Months of Transition

I dubbed 2017 my “Year of Transition.” And as I mark 12 months since my separation, I can honestly say that life as I know it is almost completely different from what it was a year ago. It hasn’t always been easy, but everything I’ve gone through has given me the opportunity to grow.

change-948024_1920

For me, 2017 was a year of incredible change….

So, since it’s the season of lists, here are 12 things that I’ve learned during my first year as a single mom:

  1. I can make great decisions in high-stress situations.
  2. I can use a snake to unplug a sink.
  3. I can rise above negative situations. (If you’re surrounded by drama, try it sometime!)
  4. I can choose my mood. (see #3)
  5. Mom was right. Your reputation counts.
  6. I can assemble a hockey net – even if it takes three days!
  7. I can write more words in a month than I previously believed possible.
  8. I have a great poker face. (see #3 & #4)
  9. Simple things can make me very happy.
  10. I may be middle-aged, but I can still learn new things.
  11. Not everyone who is friendly is your friend. (But don’t take it personally!)
  12. Girlfriends (and male friends) who make you laugh are the best.
Railway

It’s full steam ahead for 2018….

I have dubbed 2018 my “Year of Momentum.” After the free-fall of 2017, I feel like my feet are back on the ground and that I’m on the right path forward.

Who’s coming along for the ride?

 

 

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The Fur-Bearing Trout, and the power of patience

This summer, I got to add the words ‘contributing author’ to my resume.

My story, The Secret That Won The War, was selected for inclusion in The Fur-Bearing Trout…and Other True Tales of Canadian Life.

The book is a collection of non-fiction pieces by 16 local writers, and was published by the London & Southwestern Ontario chapter of the Professional Writers Association of Canada to mark the Canada 150 celebrations.

TFBT Cover

I am grateful to be a contributing author….

This was a thrill for me for two reasons: I can now say that I’ve been published in a book, and more importantly – I had been sitting on this story for 13 years.

The Secret That Won The War was written in 2004 when I was still in journalism school at The University of Western Ontario.

As a student, my goal was to publish every assignment I wrote for J-school.  I did – with the exception of this one.

Perhaps it was the subject matter, telling the story of Canada’s top-secret radar program through the eyes of Word War II radar veteran Fred Bates. A storekeeper from Wingham, Ontario, Bates had been trained at RAF Station Clinton – located 85 km north of London – before serving on Canada’s West Coast and in Europe.

Perhaps it was the length.  Bates’ personal recollection was interspersed with plenty of historical and technical information – necessary, I felt – to properly tell the tale. But at more than 4,000 words, the draft I handed in was certainly far too long for most traditional publications.

Perhaps my student writing skills just weren’t strong enough to pull off such an ambitious project. I received a mediocre grade and some unenthusiastic feedback.

But Fred Bates had passed away less than two weeks after our interview, and I felt that I couldn’t simply throw away his words.

The story was filed away on my computer. And then on another computer. And another.

Filed away, but not quite forgotten.

When the call for submissions for non-fiction stories about any facet of Canadian life dropped into my in-box last November, I knew that The Secret That Won The War had finally found a home.

It’s now 2,500 words shorter than the original, with a new beginning and ending, but each one of Bates’ words remain.

As for the fur-bearing trout, that’s another slice of Canadian history worth reading about.

The Fur-Bearing Trout…and Other True Tales of Canadian Life was launched at Anderson Craft Ales on June 25. Copies are available at Attic Books and Chapters / Indigo in London, Ontario and it will soon be available on Amazon.

Learn more about Canada’s secret WWII radar program. 

As a story-based copywriter, marketing & website copywriter, content consultant, and blogger, I am passionate about helping people grow their success by sharing their stories with the world. Read what I’ve been up to at Spilled Ink Writing & Wordsmithing.

My year of transformation

If there’s one word that sums up 2017 to date, it’s transformation.

Life as I knew it unraveled last November with the end of a 17-year relationship. By the end of 2016 I was settled into a new home and facing an unexpected future as a single mom. It felt a bit like jumping off a cliff – a mix of fear, exhilaration and the hope that I would eventually land in one piece.

cliff

I took a huge leap of faith….and jumped!

I decided to embrace the ride.

In March I attended a 3-day Business Mastery event, led by Colin Sprake of Make Your Mark. (Thank-you Sarah Clarke of Mompreneurs London for bringing Colin to London last year.)

The business and personal growth conference was exactly what I needed.

The event made me realize how much I love writing, and that I deserve to give myself the opportunity to continue helping others share their stories with the world.  Much to my own surprise, I signed up for MYM’s 12-month Business Mastery program, and have started to put some much-needed structure around my writing business.

It’s a work-in-progress and will be for a while, but I can already feel an internal shift as I grow from being a mom-who-writes into a female entrepreneur who provides a valuable service through her words.

You’ll see some of these changes already reflected on my website. Spilled Ink Writing & Wordsmithing now has a Vision and Mission Statement, and a clearly defined purpose.

Later that month, I also attended Joie Gharrity’s workshop on branding and marketing for women. (Thank-you Susan Jacobs for the nudge!) Gharrity flew in all the way from California to share her expertise and to encourage everyone in the room to “shine in our own spotlight.”

Joie Gharrity and Susan Jacobs

The amazing Susan Jacobs (l) brought Joie Gharrity (r) all the way to London to share her expertise.

I left with a new tribe of friends, some fantastic new ideas, and some new-found confidence about how I can better present myself to the world both in-person and on-line. It’s also a work-in-progress!

So here I am, one-third of the way into 2017. The sun is finally shining, and birds are building a nest on my new front porch. I still don’t know what the future will bring, but I’m doing my best to welcome change and enjoy the journey.

What word sums up your year so far?

Nicole Laidler is a story-based copywriter, marketing and website copywriter, content consultant and blogger based in London, Ontario. 

 

My stop-and-go summer

The summer months can be challenging when you’re a freelancer who works from a home office and the mom of a busy 10-year-old. Throw in home renovations, a steady stream of house guests and a dead laptop, and the regular summer juggling act gets thrown into high gear.

Me and skye

Our 120-lb “lap dog” is also part of the juggling act!

So I’m trying to forgive myself for being less productive than usual over the past two months.

That’s not to say that my keyboard has sat completely idle. Between overseeing new carpets, windows, and painting, chauffeuring my son to soccer and a few weeks of goalie camp, supervising various Pokémon Go outings, and showing visiting family and friends around our beautiful corner of the world, I somehow managed to string together a few words.

Website copy, blogs, a victim impact statement, and a handful of magazine articles have kept me busy. But they’ve all been written in short bursts, at some extremely odd hours of the day and night.

Eat Drink photo

I did manage to churn out a few stories this summer….including my regular music column for Eat Drink .

On the one hand, I recognize how lucky I am to have the freedom to work when I like. On the other, it can make for some extremely long days.

So I am eagerly anticipating the first day of school, when I hope to sit down at a clean desk, in my freshly-painted home office, and do a full day of uninterrupted work on my speedy new laptop.

I’m signed up for a September conference for women entrepreneurs, I’ll be participating in a sold-out evening of fashion in support of Make-A-Wish, and I have a list of story ideas ready to pitch, as well as a new Spilled Ink website – launching soon.

In the meantime, I’m going to spend as much time as I can savoring the last few weeks of summer. If you need me, I’ll be at the lake, refueling for a busy and productive fall.

Slice of paradise

No words needed….

How was your summer? And how are you getting ready for fall?

On board with MainStreet London

I’ve been writing about downtown London for more than a decade. In fact, my very first cover story was about Kingsmill’s department store. Founded in 1865, this retail icon predated Confederation.

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    Kingsmill’s was founded in the heart of  London in 1865. (Kingsmill’s store for Francine Kopun.)

In 2004, when my story was published in Business London magazine, the family-owned retailer was an early adapter of online sales. In 2014, Kingsmill’s closed, marking the end of an era for anyone who grew up in London.

(Although I can’t seem to find a copy of my 2004 story, you can read more about the history of Kingsmill’s and its closing here and here.)

That cover story – penned as a J-school assignment – was the first of hundreds I have written that are in some way connected to the core of my home town.  So when some Londoners claimed that the closure of Kingsmill’s signaled the death of downtown retail, it got my blood boiling.

Luckily, I have a pen (or keyboard).  I pitched, and wrote, a second cover story on the new wave of independent retailers setting up shop in downtown London.

Declaration of Independance

I turned my anger into another cover story….

You can read the full story here.

Around the same time, I saw a Facebook posting about a board opening at MainStreet London – an organization tasked with supporting and strengthening all aspects of downtown.

I know that I am not the only Londoner frustrated by the snail’s pace of progress in the core. But being an optimist at heart I decided the time was right to join the fight for downtown at a more formal level. So I sent in my application – and was accepted to the board in January.

I am looking forward to seeing the revitalization process from another angle, and am hoping to learn more about the challenges of bringing meaningful – let alone transformational – change to the heart of my hometown.

Musing on millenials and Eiskaffee

Having the opportunity to meet young people who are trying to change the world is one of the best things about being a freelance writer.

I recently had that chance when I interviewed the founders of Ezzy Lynn – a group of women who are using fashion for social and environmental good. Their weapon of choice? The scrunchie.

[For those who aren’t in the know, Cambridge Dictionaries Online defines a scrunchie as   “a piece of elastic covered in often brightly-coloured cloth that is used to hold long hair at the back of the head.”]

Sound crazy? That’s what I thought when the assignment dropped into my inbox.  Then I met Western University grads and Ezzy Lynn co-founders Samantha Laliberte, Sonja Fernandes and Bianca Lopes.

The ladies of Ezzy Lynn.

The ladies of Ezzy Lynn.

This trio of 25-year-olds have their act together, and I wouldn’t bet against them. Intrigued? You can read my cover story here.

It made me think about what I was doing when I was 25…living in Geneva Switzerland, working as a freelance musician with no plans to change the world.  Without many plans beyond next week, actually.

Worrying about the bottom line and trying to build a business in a socially and environmentally responsible way was definitely not on my radar screen.  But eventually I gave up my bohemian ways, returned to Canada, and went back to school…

Fast forward 15 years and I have a new career and a family that includes a 9-year-old and two Newfoundland dogs.

The geriatric and the young b**ch enjoying a swim.

The geriatric and the young b**ch enjoying a swim.

Last week, we made a quick trip to Geneva (minus the dogs)…

We visited some of my old haunts…

We took a boat ride to the medieval village of Yvoire, France.

We took a boat ride to the medieval village of Yvoire, France.

… drank real Eiskaffee…

Why can't I find this in London, Ontario?

Why can’t I find this in London, Ontario?

…and escaped the heat wave by jumping in the lake.

Yes, you can swim in Lake Geneva!

Yes, you can swim right downtown in Lake Geneva!

We also went on a day trip to Chamonix and took the gondolas up Mont Blanc – something I couldn’t afford to do as a twenty-something musician.

On top of the world....

On top of the world….a pricey day trip, but worth it!

It was wonderful to revisit a city that was once my home and that holds so many great memories. And so, while I am in awe of this generation of  driven, entrepreneurial millenials who are working so hard to change the world, I hope that they’ll also take some time to explore it. Responsibilities will wait.

5 tips from the mompreneur trenches

Like most women, I wear many hats. Wife, mother, small-business owner.  And like many women these days, I run my business from home.

I guess that makes me a mompreneur – and part of a growing trend.

In fact, almost 34 per cent of small businesses in Canada are now solely or partially owned by women, and chapters of MOMpreneur Canada are popping up from coast to coast, including right here in London, Ontario.

Balancing work and a family can be a juggling act - especially for a mompreneur!

Balancing work and a family can be a juggling act – especially for a mompreneur!

Juggling work and family is never an easy task. And when you’re a freelance writer, work is ruled by deadlines – deadlines that don’t care about sick children, muddy dogs, plugged sinks and all the other day-to-day distractions and responsibilities that come with family life.

My decision to become a solopreneur was quite deliberate. I took a ‘traditional’ office job (in marketing and communications) so that I could qualify for maternity benefits, going out on my own shortly before my son was born.

That was almost ten years ago, and after a decade in the mompreneur trenches here are my top five tips to staying sane and productive as a work at home mom:

Accept your limitations
Before children, plowing through a to-do list seems as easy as 1-2-3. But once that baby is born just getting out of the house can be a major undertaking.  If you are working from home because you want to be around your children instead of sending them off to daycare, set realistic expectations and cut yourself some slack.

Yes, you may be able to work during nap time. But you may also need to catch up on your own sleep.

And you may not give birth to a napper – my son was a bundle of boundless energy right from day one. While other kids slept four to six hours a day, I was lucky to get him down for 45 minutes. Luckily, he loved hanging out in a sling while I was at my computer as a newborn,  joined me in my office in his Jolly Jumper later on, and started a morning preschool program as soon as he was old enough to be registered!

At one point, an office Jolly Jumper was a must!

At one point, an office Jolly Jumper was a must!

To be honest, I don’t know how I got any work done during those first few years – and I certainly wasn’t earning anything like a real income. But I did keep my fingers in the game.

And mom was right:

IT GETS EASIER…

…and I got more efficient.

Today, I am able to work a regular 6 hour day while he’s off at school – and boy can I get a lot done in those 6 hours!

Get out of the office
This may seem counterproductive, but carving out time for networking and just getting together with friends for lunch is one of the best things you can do to stay refreshed and motivated. It’s also crucial if you want to grow your client base and support network.

Be honest with your clients
I am always upfront about the fact that I am a solopreneur who works from a home office. And it’s never cost me a job.

Some mompreneurs don’t mind working nights and weekends, but that is not for me. My son plays competitive hockey, so countless evenings are spent at the rink.

Win or lose, watching the kids is always fun!

Win or lose, watching the kids is always fun!

In theory I could bring my work with me, but in practice that rarely happens. Watching the kids on the ice is too much fun – and socializing with the other parents is my ‘water-cooler’ time.

If I am up against a pressing deadline, I prefer to wake up before dawn to get things done.  If there’s really no time to take on a new assignment, I ask if the deadline is flexible. You would be surprised at how often people really don’t ‘need’ their copy by tomorrow!

If I simply can’t make it work , I am happy to suggest other freelance writers in my professional network – colleagues and friends who will return the favour!

Be honest with your family
If you need an uninterrupted block of time to finish a project ask your better half or other family member to help out with the childcare duties.  Arrange a play date.  Hire a sitter. Sometimes you can’t be everything to everyone. Especially not at the same time.

Make some me-time
You have undoubtedly read this before, but it’s worth repeating:

Make time to do something for yourself – outside of work and being a mother.

Me-time is not selfish. It’s a sanity savor. Despite my limited available work hours, I give myself permission to do an exercise class at least one morning a week – preferably two. Does it always happen? No.  But it happens more often than not.

As for working mom’s guilt? Just forget about it!

How do you achieve the right work / family balance?

To learn more about my work life, visit me at Spilled Ink Writing & Wordsmithing.